Finding the Silence

by | Apr 5, 2016

Finding the Silence

When it comes to being our most effective selves finding the silence is key to unlocking our potential. In that space our unconscious minds are allowed freedom to bring to our attention what has been ignored, misunderstood, or lost to us for some time. This can be incredibly enlightening and allow us to tap into how or why we are feeling or acting in a certain way.

Whilst being coached I have found this incredibly valuable to me as a way to dig deep, or self discover what is going on at that moment. It is a profound and deeply moving state that most of us ignore day to day, or are distracted from because of the huge amount of ‘noise’ around us.

the Noise

Consider on the way to work (in my case mostly London), we are bombarded by media, advertising, posters, people, tubes, traffic, pollution, ooh look at that in the window, coughing, pushing, umbrella, ow wheely suitcase on my foot…ahhh the office, finally…Im here. When you get to work you are interrupted, emailed, phoned, distracted etc etc…

Experiment

So, I decided to take some time out to see if I could find the silence, on my own, and how long it would take. Here is what happened.

  • It actually took me 4 days.
  • I figured out, that I had to turn my phone off (it was off for 5 days in total as part of this experiment – and the World did not end).
  • I then decided to remove email from my mobile, and facebook and twitter and all those other distracting apps I never use.
  • I noticed my house was quiet, and yet I liked the sun, and fresh air and walking outside made it easier to find the silence.
  • I noticed that in the house all my gadgets make noise… the TV hums a little to itself, the washing machine beeps incessantly, bleep Im finished, bleep Im still finished, bleep you should turn me off…argggghhh.
  • I stopped drinking coffee.
  • I read some books, just focusing on the books.
  • I fell asleep, a lot.
  • It was not easy to find total silence. Once there, it is much quicker to achieve.
  • I had insights that I had not expected about myself, my work and my direction.
  • I was more attentive to my family, and listened to them more. We got closer.
  • I began to relax.
  • I got sick (flu)…could be coincidence, although some people say it is about ‘clearing’ the body and mind.
  • It took hours at first to clear the banter in my head, and now it takes a few minutes. And suddenly peace is there again.

The value of this experience has been incredible, and something which I will continue on a smaller scale, however the applications in coaching I think are quite fantastic.

Holding presence through silence is an important part of being a consultant and a coach to others, as there are situations that occur that you may have personal experience of, or judgements on, that you must work to remove from the space that you hold for your client. And yet, the pursuit of this requires discipline, hard work and self discovery at the same time. To achieve that presence requires that you find the silence, and some coaches have rituals (or meditations) that they do to prepare and get them in the right state to be totally focused on the client…and now I do too.

This has helped me not only manage the day to day, the kids, and the ca-fuffles, but also consider what is important about what I do and where my focus of attention should be and needs to be to provide the best support for my clients.

Give it a try, see how you go, let me know how you go, comment below 🙂

Martin Knowles

Martin Knowles

Director

About the author

Martin Knowles has worked in a variety of sectors in Learning and Development roles and Contracts for nearly 20 years (DSGi, PCWorld, Capital One, Linklaters, Veolia, Severn Trent, Rolls-Royce, Diageo, Selfridges). He has authored content, books and articles for managers and aspiring leaders, published work in multiple media and won awards for Best Training and Development in Europe.

9 Big Problems with McKinsey 9 Box Grid for Talent

The McKinsey 9 box talent matrix is used by a huge number of companies around the world as a way to identify and calibrate talent performance and potential of a team or hierarchical level. But why does it not work when reviewing talent?

Read More

Does Social Learning spell the end for chargeable content?

Social learning as a construct of using social media for shared learning experience using youtube or other online animation or demonstration of the activity you are trying to learn (as opposed to the strict definition of social learning theory of Albert Bandura’s i.e. learning through observed experience) is a current topic of conversation in the wings.

Read More

Leadership Development Evolution

Inspired by Ross Dawsons article on Building success in the future of work: T-shaped, Pi-shaped, and Comb-shaped skills and my own work on developing leaders ready for the future I have been considering some classical approaches to leadership development when it comes to Professional Discipline (the technical element or business element of leadership development).

Read More

Finding training providers – 5 tips for Conferences and Events

I’ve now attended a number of CIPD events at Olympia and sometimes take my team as well, but this time (April 2013) I was alone, with a mission for finding training providers I could work with on a leadership development project.

Read More

Demonstrating ROI Training

After reading a recent article on the CIPD website I can’t help but think that the issues around Demonstrating ROI Training (Return on Investment) is not about cost, but about value, and the HR community needs to grasp the tangible and commercial realities of a business function rather than a support function or face an inevitable cull!

Read More

Move over Maslow

What a brilliant way to demonstrate the impact of “efficiency” vs “meaning” debate about motivation and productivity. Really like the experiments he used to identify and explain how we feel at work and how we respond to others work can impact their motivation.

Read More

Data Driven Decision Making in HR

According to a study from the MIT Center for Digital Business organisations driven most by ‘data-based decision making’ had 4% higher productivity rates and 6% higher profits.

Read More

Training Solutions in a box

Is it possible to have a training solution in a box?

You see, the problem with off-the-shelf training solutions is; you are not involved in their production, when they are gone they are gone, they go out of date, are often easy to reproduce and therefore not fit for your purpose, and after you have bought them you are on your own (beans don’t cook themselves you know)!

Read More

What is Talent Management

The definition breaks down different areas of Human Capital Management (HCM) into work streams that are easy for us to understand. I have put some of my own changes to the original quote in square brackets [].

Read More

Talent Metrics Examples

Having read a great discussion on Linkedin I thought I would summarise some key Talent Metrics Examples for you, with a little consideration for how they actually fit together.

Read More
0 0